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Posts Tagged ‘Staying Ripe’

NOW IS ALL WE HAVE

My heading really says it all. Living in the NOW doesn’t mean I can or want to do away with memory…or even anticipation…but it does mean, to me, not carrying over old emotional baggage that destroys this now.

It, of course, means being conscious of what that baggage is. Anticipating the negative is a carry-over and makes this now bleak and fearful.

We’re all human. So what else is new? (Ooops, that remark lost me a longtime friend). Our own self-interest is primary…even when we are extremely altruistic and seemingly selfless. So that the love I give and love I receive are both life-preservers.

The recent death of my much-loved daughter has challenged me in many ways to practice what I preach. I do grieve for the shut down of her accomplished and much appreciated life. She deserved many more than her 63 years. My emotions fluctuate from feeling unnerved to feeling sad to feeling calm. Those are my NOW…but I know (anticipate) that these emotions will level off, despite the continuing sadness…and that helps my moment.

In relation to that, there are lines which have stayed with me for many, many years and speak to this very subject:

“Life gives us moments, and for
these moments we give our lives.”

The most imprtant, and often difficult trick, is to experience fully those moments we are given…without contamination. Yes, the contamination can be the moment itself, because it’s a lived experience, but it destroys the gift. I refuse to give over to that destruction…for myself, and for those who love and care for me…or even for the world at large

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Only the universe itself defies the dictum: the more things change the more they stay the same. Not so the heavenly bodies. All is in flux.
Nothing stays in or returns to the same place as the galaxies, stars, planets rotate and glide in their constant shift. What an interesting anomaly!

Okay. So how have my attitudes and perspectives changed of the years?
I’m more forgiving, but still vulnerable to guilt (is that why I’m more forgiving?) I see the socio-political world as immature, self-serving, often cruel – not much change there. While I’m not sure I forgive the world, I have some understanding of its slowness in evoloving.

As one of the more or less comfortable U.S. middle-class privileged –
and grateful – I long to be part of a country that is more beneficient than merely self-serving and aggressive both at home and abroad. Look to your own beneficence, Peggy! And watch your own selfishness and sometimes aggressive mouth! (There’s a bit of change in attitude.)

In a culture touting, in large letters, NEW! (products, that is) there is such a fearful resistance to flexibility and shift from the familiar. When things are relatively “good”…who wants to plunge into something different. If it ain’t broke, it don’t need fixin’. Hmmm. Well, that might apply to many situations, personally and publicly, but if we’re not willing to take at least a small leap into the dark, the unknown, where is the creativity…the movement, in behavior and interaction with others (not always as good as it could be)…as well as in impersonal fields of exploration…science, the arts, technology, etc.?

What is a constant inspiration for me is the memory of a television program interviewing artists, all in their eighties, in which, to a person they said that the next project was what interested them…not what they had already accomplished. I do apply that to my creative writing and attempts at art…but what about my daily interactions? I believe heartily in transcendance in art…How do I transcend my petty annoyances, my foolish prejudices, my unnecessary defenses? As in creating a new poem…I listen not to just the surface image or phrase…but allow surprise to leap and inform…So it’s attentiveness, awareness at a new level that can bring more than the same old, same old.

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